Do any of these sound familiar?
◆ I finally got the promotion I have worked so hard to get but something is still missing
◆ I finally got the car of my dreams, but something is still missing
◆ I finally have a great relationship, but something is still missing
◆I finally lost the excess weight, but something is still missing
If you feel like you finally got that thing or reached that goal you were sure would make life perfect, but you still are not happy or fulfilled, rest assured, you are NOT alone.
HOW WE DEFINE SUCCESS IS OFTEN OUR BIGGEST MISTAKE
In this world we live in, success is determined by how we compare to the next guy and that usually means comparing ourselves in tangible ways: how much we earn, where we live, what car we drive, what country club we belong to, what size clothing we wear ...
This strategy for defining success and pursuing happiness is flawed for a number of reasons:
1. It fails to take into account a psychological phenomenon called "hedonic adaptation"
In its simplest terms, hedonic adaptation means that as soon as we acquire something, be it status or a material possession, we quickly get used to it, it becomes our new normal, it no longer gives us pleasure, it no longer makes us feel better than the neighbour, and we start looking for something new to work towards.
Why do you think car manufacturers keep coming up with newer and better models year after year? Or fashion designers keep coming up with new styles every season?
It’s because they know that those who bought last season’s or last year’s model will have tired of it and will be looking for some new shiny object to strive for. It is a pursuit of perfection and happiness that never ends
2. When we compare ourselves to others we can always find someone "better than" us, so when we compare, we end up feeling "not good enough"
The fact is that no matter how much money we are worth, no matter what status we achieve, no matter how many toys we amass, there will ALWAYS be someone who has "more" than us, who will be more skilled than us in some area.
In a world with almost 8 billion people, no one person can be "the best" in every aspect of life.
3. It assumes that having all our material needs met is a pre-requisite for happiness
In our society we assume that "the one with the most toys wins". If that is true, then how can you explain the level of broken relationships, substance abuse and suicide among the "rich and famous"?
4.it fails to take into account that when our happiness depends on something outside of ourselves, we are always at risk of losing it
If we measure our success by external markers, we are always at risk of losing those markers.
Several economic downturns of the recent past show how quickly we can lose our job and/or lose our investments. Success measured by wealth is never guaranteed.
If we measure success by the relationship we have, unforeseen circumstances can mean the loss of that relationship in the blink of an eye, leaving us feeling lost and no longer "good enough".
WE HAVE TO START BY DEFINING SUCCESS IN A WAY THAT REFLECTS OUR CORE VALUES AND OUR LIFE PURPOSE
If fulfillment and “enough-ness” are what you are seeking, you have to start by looking within. You have to discover what is REALLY important to you, based on your own values and your life purpose, and you need to have a clear vision of what a purpose-based life means FOR YOU.
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙙𝙖𝙮
Living your purpose is a journey without end.
Living with purpose means showing up in life in a way that ensures you will be remembered for how you made people feel, not for what your were worth or for the toys you amassed. People will forget your net worth, they will forget the toys you had, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
If you want proof, just look at the tombstone inscriptions. You rarely see "s/he had the best car" or "h/se had the biggest house".
What you are more likely to see is "s/he lived with (honor, purpose, generosity...)
THE BENEFITS OF CLEAR VALUES AND CLEAR PURPOSE
◆ you get up in the morning looking forward to the day ahead
◆ you know exactly how you want to make people feel
◆ you start your day knowing what you must do in order to honor that intention
◆ you have a source of hope and courage to get you through life’s challenges when they show up – and they WILL show up!
NO ONE CAN TAKE YOUR PURPOSE AWAY FROM YOU!
But most importantly, no one can take your purpose away from you – it is yours to honor and nurture on a daily basis, in a way that works for YOU, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says.
It's what makes life worth living.
It is what allows you to experience success and "good enough-ness" every single day.
When success means living in alignment with your purpose, your success is fully in your control and no one can take it away from you.
If you feel stuck, if life has no meaning, let's talk! You can book a complimentary 15 minute chat with me. There is no obligation and you will know if what I offer will be helpful to you and if we are a match.
Book your complimentary call with me HERE.